tired of being the bad guy and seeing Sophie suffer.

Last night was one of the more harder times we have had with Sophie and her injection, she hates them , I hate giving them to her and in teh end after the crying and screaming and sayin " I want to live on teh  streets and find a new family" all is calm again but my heart is not. It has been 6 months since we started on the road of methorexate injcetions we have had out ups and downs, good days and not so good days. We have had some ok needle days and then there came a pint where it took me plus my parents to hold her down and make her take the needle screaming and crying. As a mom , you want to not hurt your children, I do not spank her or hit her , sometimes I raise my voice but I do not hurt her physically, I know it is my job as a mom to protect her and guide her through this amazing but crazy life. I feel like an udder failure at protecting her from pain. One I cannot control her arthritis and even though praying for god to give me her pain I know this is gods work and who am I to question it, but i do , why does she have to suffer, why does she have to endure nedles and daily medicine and blood work and appointments and feeling different from her frineds. I know in the end this experience wil make her a stronger person and she is already strong and brave , but deals with more then any child should have to. She wants to learn to swallow a pill and g back to oral mtx and I will call the dr and take to her about it. I really hope but not going to get her hopes up that she wil aloow her to go back the pill. I pray everyday for her and all children suffering , I try to be brave and strong for my daughter and I guess that is all I can do .....