2011

Looking back on 2011 and how it started out and how it is finishing I have to say that the end is better then the beginning but it still has been a very rough road and Iam hoping that 2012 is so much better for my family than 2011 was.

It started out going to the iwk with a child in alot of pain that was treated with steroids ( prednisone) and now deciding to add to the mix weekly injections of methotrexate, the first few times we were instructed at our local hospital on how to give the needle. Then came the time to go it at home, the first few times though very scary went well, it was just Sophie and I here and her being a brave girl and mom( me) being not so brave but not showing it and sucking it up and doing it .... all for the sake of my girl and hoping that this med would help her arthritis.
We spent 7 months doing the injections at home, after her realizing what was in store she decided not to be as brave as she first had been , it took bribes, and rewards and holding her down ( with help of my parents) to get it done , in the end I had a 6 yr old child who was showing signs of depression and anxiety and still not getting as much relief as we had hoped. I had to put her in therapy and we decided in October to try another drug. This was a pill( Arava) she had not learned to swallow a pill and she was willing to do so if it meant no more injections( at least for now) . She did great learning to take the pill( thank goodness it was small) . But we are still having some flare ups, pain and swelling , she is fatigued certainly not as bad as she had been at the end of last yr but I am still hoping that come Feb we are able to try something else or do something else that may give her better relief. It is so hard being a mom to a child with a chronic illness. Watching them suffer in pain and not having much to offer in way of help sucks . My parents bought her a heating blanket  which has come in handy.I know she could be much worse, but this year has been enough of a struggle. Blood work , trips to the iwk(our closest childrens hospital ) , she even had to be admitted for 3 days back in July for a flare up that resulted in iv steroid treatment. We have been dealing with Arthritis for close to 3 years now, we have our ups and downs , good days and not so good days. Iam so greatful to all the moms I talk to on a facebook group, they have given me and Sophie so much support and prayers through it all. I do not know where I would be without them.

 My wish for all kids suffering with any kind of illness is that 2012 be better for all these kids, for them to be able to have as much of a normal childhood as possible, it is hard when our kids take daily meds, needles, endless appointments, get sick easier, miss school , can't keep up or participate in activities like their peers do. my new yrs resolution is to do all I can to give awareness to an invisible illness that too many of our kids suffer with . To make others aware just because a child may not look " sick" does not mean they aren't. Inside they are suffering and wanting to be "normal" and pain free and not to have to take meds, and miss school and go see a doc all the time and to have needles and wonder about their future and if their hopes and dreams are realistic for them, will I be well enough to go to college, will I be well enough to get married and have my own children , will I be well enough to hold a job , will I be well enough ..... these are things our kids have to deal with and I hate it , I feel very helpless when it comes to Arthritis and helping my child learn her limits and find new goals and hopes and dreams . We have all dealt with more then our fair share this year, life is not always easy I know , but if we can just have a few less days of pain and a few less days in hospital and a few more days watching our kids be kids and laughing and doing what kids should be doing then this year that is almost upon us will be better then the one we just had ... I wish you all the very best ( and let god's love for all of us help you through when we do have those bad days) . I am so grateful to have a beautiful , brave , strong daughter who has taught me more in her 6 yrs on this earth then I have learned my whole life. I love you Sophie !!!! you are my superstar!!